When You’ve Been Broken
Acrylic 36” x 48”
Isaiah 40:27-31; Hebrews 12:7-13
This is from my own experience as a pastor, although it can be anyone’s experience who follows Christ. There will always come a time of breaking or crushing. No one likes it at the time nor even understands it, but we are told that maturing comes through these times. I guess it’s like a seed that has to die first and be dried out before it can grow. My story involves upheaval in the church, having to leave, and loosing any sense of worth in God’s eyes. The image shows a church in the city burning down. The upheaval is the dirty smoke. The person in the foreground looks as though they feel responsible for it all, crushed and even defeated.
Thoughts may pass through your mind about your own experience of desolation and distance from God. “Why did you call me to this? I thought your purpose was to build your church? What did I do wrong?..... Honey, remind me never to accept a call to be a pastor again...” Having lived through this more than once, will I ever learn what God is teaching me? His ways are not my ways and His purpose is much greater than just building a tidy local church. God is preparing pastors and leaders around the world for a great awakening and He needs our complete attention. It seems that my original sense of God calling me to be a pastor still holds the key. I never wanted to be a pastor because I thought I would never fit the picture [and I still don’t]. God wants me precisely because I do not fit the picture, and what I will do for God will ONLY be due to His power through me.
He told me, “I will make you a fisher of men...” So, from across the water comes an eagle carrying a fish as though God were reminding me of this. Over the whole image of brokeness the Spirit of God like a great eagle, the prophetic mantel and word, nurtures His little one. This union with the Spirit of God is framed by and even enhanced by the contrasting trials of ministry below and the glorious light in the watchful eye of God over the whole scene above. The head of the eagle comes down towards me as though He knows my heart and pain.
The words to the song by Kevin Prosch with the same title were an inspirational source to this painting.